his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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