I think I am morally bankrupt
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
