don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
