I think im going to throw up on grandma
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
