Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
