WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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