please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
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he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
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I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Shame - the story of my life.
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