fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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