my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
