some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
