Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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