hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
