idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
