she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Bring me that man meat
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize