Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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