Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
