If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
