This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
