were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
