There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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