Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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