I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
