I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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