Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
