I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
