Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
