Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
