i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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