I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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