I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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