make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
