was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Never underestimate the power of titties
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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