I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
