She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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