yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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