it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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