the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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