We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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