Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
