And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
