He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
