Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
