thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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