They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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