you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.