So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
