This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?