she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize