i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
