He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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