I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
