I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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