We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
well you can't waste a boner
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
