I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
