I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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