Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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