hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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