I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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